More to the point… I miss who I was when I discovered tumblr. A twenty-something living one major town over from Manhattan with enough disposable income and free time to get overly obsessed (but not in a stalkerish way…) with other young, hot twenty-somethings and gush over places they visited, clothes they bought, and restaurants they ate at. I greedily read their recommendations and swooned over their iPhone pics of vacations. Nabbed up their recipe suggestions to try for myself and read the books they recommended. And then slowly they mostly stepped away from tumblr, I expect for the same reason I did. Life got in the way. They had babies and I had my own – the latter which completely dried up my disposable income, making unnecessary clothes shopping a thing of the past and a night out a real luxury. The things I “needed” to read about changed. Now it’s all about kid milestones reached and family events around the island. I don’t care about clothing and fashion because I would rather allocate any disposable income to a family day out with Emma.
I love my life now, don’t get me wrong. I love my family, I am really proud of my career and how far I’ve come, and am so happy to be raising Emma in Hawaii. But I sure do miss being young and skinny and fit (even though I never thought I was those last two back then) living on the east coast without a real care in the world. I love my life, but I am sad at the overweight person with ill-fitted clothes, no stamina and no energy that stares back at me in the mirror. I would certainly never take a selfie of me these days.
So, why this sappy look back? Because I’ve been reading my own blog in great detail now as I plan out my trip back to NYC in May. Thankful that I blogged as much as I did about my favorite things about the city and sad about all the things I left out and now can’t remember in great detail, because it was so great to have those posts as a scrapbook of that time in my life. I keep trying to start up blogging again, but it’s also hard when there’s no one reading you. Now at the height of my “blogging heyday” I may have had some ridiculously small number like 40 readers, but these days I can’t even get my mom to read my blog, which in turn makes me not want to share more of my life…. sort of like that age old question, if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it make a sound? But by stepping away, I’ve missed recording bigger chunks of my life recently, which I then regret. I know I come on here every several months or so to state that I’ll become a better blogger… and then I never do. Here’s hoping that changes because it sure was fun back in the day.