Accounting 101

Just the same as in prior years, as tax day loomed closer throughout the last week, well meaning friends and family sent antidotes or well wishes relating to how I can finally come up for air because my busy season is over. That’s great and all except, I AM NOT A TAX ACCOUNTANT. I do my own taxes once a year with the help of H&R Block. And only because it’s not too difficult. The first year I did Ryan’s taxes he was self-employed. I told him never again. If he wants to become self-employed again, he’s finding us a tax accountant.

But I’m going of topic (as per usual), because this situation led me to what I considered the greatest post idea ever! I would teach everyone what it is I do in an exhilarating and hilarious way because really, us accountants, we are crazy funny. It was such a good idea that I got to work right away writing and re-writing my humorous bullet point ideas. Put a zinger about a consolidated balance sheet here. Add an anecdote of mistaking a debit for a credit there. It couldn’t lose. Except that you all can clearly already see what took me an hour to realize. It sucked. The entire thing sucked. I don’t think I’ve every written anything so bad in my life. And I’ve written a lot of crap (don’t all nod at once now!).

I wasn’t ready to give up. I tried to google ideas of funny ways to teach accounting. Can you believe I couldn’t find any? I was shocked. And so finally I realized it was time to throw in the towel and bemoan the world’s loss at reading the greatest piece of writing of our times. It could have been epic!

And with that, I will finish off this completely pointless post with a pick up line I found while searching for that holy grail of funny accounting lessons: Wanna sneak out behind the “hedge” and play with my “financial instrument?”

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