Thank you, US Weekly.

I’m such an apple-gadget whore that when I boarded the train yesterday and realized 1) I left my iPad at home and 2) my iPhone wad dead, I freaked out over the boringness that would ensue during my commute.

Until I remembered that I had stuffed this little gem into my purse and spent the morning catching up on one of my guilty pleasures. If you haven’t had a chance to read it let me summarize for you:

Farrah and her parents have made up. Interesting how they made up after she was scammed out of $3k and her free government-provided baby-sitters ran out.

Maci can still do no wrong in my eyes but with the article talking about a potential marriage to boyfriend Kyle – woah, slow down girl. My rule on getting married is that you should be legally able to drink at your wedding.

Amber is…. Well, she explains it so much better than I could:

I always wanted to be a cosmetologist, but now I’m leaning toward being a mixed martial arts fighter. It keeps me in shape, keeps my head clear and I think I should wake up every day doing something I love.

Meanwhile if that over-producted orange girl can get down to a size 1 jeans then 1) holy crap I need to get off my fat ass and 2) Amber has managed to impress me. Will wonders never cease?

Caitlyn and Tyler get to see Carly on an upcoming episode. Which means we’ll get to see Carly. I feel the waterworks starting already, sniff sniff.

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